What to expect at your first session
The first session can be scary for some people. You might feel nervous, excited, hopeful, or maybe you feel like it won’t make a difference. No matter how you’re feeling, we try to make it as comfortable as possible for you.
I know that before my first appointment with a new counsellor I am almost always tense and on-edge. It usually takes me a couple of appointments before I feel loose and able to be myself. To be honest, I usually feel like the first appointment didn’t go very well. Here are some tips on how to get through it and get the most out of it!
We recommend booking a longer session than normal because there’s usually more to get through. Most sessions are an hour long, but we prefer for people to book 90 minutes for the first session.
Common worries and fears
Some of the things I worry about before starting with a new counsellor are:
– I worry that they’ll think I’m really weird
– I worry about being judged
– that the counsellor will expect me to do things I don’t want to do
– that my counsellor won’t like me or won’t “click” with me
– that I’ll feel worse after revisiting difficult things
What helps
Here’s what helped me with each one of them and what might help you:
They’ll think I’m strange or crazy
Counsellors are there to serve and support you. They are not there to judge. Their job is to be really great listeners, to show kindness, compassion, and empathy; they’re there to be on your team. Chances are they’ve heard something similar before. They’ve seen all sorts of stuff, and they’re used to it. Besides, what does weird mean anyways? Any problem, no matter how big or small, can be addressed in these sessions.
Besides, they themselves have their own quirks. We’re all human. None of us is perfect. A lot of counsellors have been on the other side themselves. Counsellors are naturally very understanding people – they know that things like substance abuse, relationship issues, and other challenges are a part of the human condition.
Here’s some info on what to expect, as well as some tips and tricks to help you get the most out of your session(s).
I’m worried that I will be judged for my choices and actions
Counsellors are there to listen and support you, not to judge you. They themselves are not perfect, and have made lots of mistakes in the past themselves. They’re here work with you to hopefully improve your outlook moving forward. We’re all just doing our best. I believe that if someone was to fully step in another’s shoes and understand, their life course and decisions would make perfect sense based on the information and options available at the time – no matter what decision was made.
What if the Counsellor wants me do things I don’t want to do
For example, I had high anxiety and was terrified that my counsellor’s answer would be to make me jump in the deep end and deal with it. First of all, that’s not the approach we would take. Secondly, we let you be at the driver’s seat. Everything is up to you. You’re the boss of your life https://impotenciastop.pt/. It helps to listen to lots of opinions from different people, and then make a decision for yourself based on your values, analysis, and goals. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We want you to feel as comfortable as possible with us in order to build the most effective relationship we can with you. Being able to communicate some of these fears with your counsellor is a good sign that we’re moving in the right direction.
What if I don’t like my Counsellor, or don’t connect well?
It’s okay if you don’t like your Counsellor or you don’t feel like it was a fit for you. Odds are it might take 2-3 or more (but hopefully less) people before you find someone you feel like you can connect with.
At the same time, sometimes it’s not good to give up too easily. Especially when we’re already feeling down on ourselves, we may only see the negatives and not the positives.
That being said, there are lots of options for you if you prefer to see another counsellor:
- You can book an appointment with one of our other counsellors.
- You can contact other counsellors/agencies that offer services in the community.
- You can try coming to a group session.
- There are many “do-it-yourself” mental health books that are great (the challenge is having the motivation and discipline to stick with them).
I’m worried that I’ll feel worse after revisiting difficult memories
Mental health issues often come in the face of extremely difficult and complex problems. Talking about them often can make our moods worst, but ignoring them doesn’t usually move us towards a solution. By talking with a trained professional, you have an opportunity to work through your problems towards something better.
What if my Counsellor doesn’t “click” with me?
Just like any other relationship, we don’t always “click” with everyone we meet. That’s okay, it’s normal. Sometimes it takes a few sessions before people build rapport and trust with a counsellor, sometimes it doesn’t happen. I would encourage you to try a couple sessions before giving up, and at that point we can try to connect you with someone who might be a better fit for you. If you have any complaints or issues about your counsellor, please reach out to us.